The Road Less Traveled

What's the best way to go about something? Is it plan? Is it research? Is it process? Is it think so much about it that you never actually get to the action part of things? There is only so much you can do before deciding to do something before you have to recognize that all the careful consideration you're putting into something is actually preventing you from accomplishing what you intended. Sometimes the best way is to just jump right in and get the thing done, even if it means iterating and doing better the next time. Don't stand in the way of yourself. Start doing the thing. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful.
-Denis Baldwin

This episode is more intended for me as an audio diary (much like a majority of episodes I guess) but I do relate a few statistics and facts that I learned recently that I found eye opening. I'm in a very positive head space even if life is on a slightly downward trend. I'm moving forward and keeping my head up. Thanks for joining me on this journey.
-Denis Baldwin

I'll be honest guys, this episode meanders and doesn't quite go in any particular direction. There are times when you simply need to get a task done because you made a commitment to doing so. This is one of those times. I still appreciate you listening and joining me today. As always, thank you for being respectful. - Denis Baldwin

On this week's episode I'm proud to say that I am back on track. I feel like a train that was close to derailing but is now on it's way to a better destination. It was certainly a close thing. I'm very thankful for the person that I am and that I can recognize better habits, better routines, and the the incremental work that needs to be done daily in order to add up towards a life that I want. As always, thank you for listening and being a part of the journey.
-Denis Baldwin

On this episode I talk about adjusting back into a life of sobriety and the reality of what "normal" looks like after a period of drinking. I also was going to sing a few songs, but I absolutely cut that portion out because it sounded like hot garbage. I'm not sure what I was thinking. I can't sing very well. Thank me later. As always, thank you for listening and being respectful.
-Denis Baldwin

On today's episode, I finally open up about the one major life event that led me to prison. It wasn't easy decising that I wanted to do this episode, but I feel like I am at a point in my life where I can finally be honest and put it out there. This is my personal experience: It is not meant to shame, hurt, or slander anyone involved. I've been very angry and resentful over how things unfolded, but I've also been proud that I feel I still made the right decision at the time, even if it led to me completely mishandling things afterwards. The consequences, both good and bad, are something that I have to live with and have been trying to do so for over a decade. Thank you for listening and being respectful.
-Denis Baldwin

Currently going through one of the hardest times of my life. It is especially difficult being self aware and introspective yet you make terrible decisions that have long term effects. I understand and recognize that I'm going through the stages of grief right now. It has helped me to sit with my emotions and try not to act on them, but it also feels like it's tearing my mind and heart apart at the same time. I've been very fortunate that people have been reaching out to me, although it still feels like such a lonely road and hard time. I'm not sure when things will get better, but I know that they will. I appreciate you guys listening and hope you too know that whatever you're going through, you will make it.
 
-Denis Baldwin

Recovery isn't an easy road, especially when you've hurt the person or people you love the most. It makes you feel like you aren't worth living, deserve to be harmed or have the worst done to you, and makes you want to give up or give in. I'm currently going through all of it. I relapsed with alcohol and destroyed my engagement to my fiancée and there's no desire for reconciliation on her part even though I will always cling to even the smallest shred of hope because that's how I'm wired. The pain is extremely fresh for her, what she is going through I can only imagine because it exponentially worse than what I'm going through. Even though it was an addiction to alcohol and I wasn't in my right mindset, having the choice to stop taken from me at a certain point, it was my choice to start drinking again in the first place. I take full accountability, but God do the consequences hurt more than anything I've ever experienced before... and I have experienced a lot of pain. Thank you for listening. If you feel anyone might be going through the same thing or could learn something from this, please share it with them.
-Denis Baldwin